Curbing terrible habits

Hard drugs

Alcoholism

Habits are formed from actions that have been built over time which eventually develop into character that defines who we are. Habits are regularly repeated behaviors which we cannot do without; we become so used to them that we find it difficult to change. Habits can either be constructive or destructive depending on how they make or mar us.

Terrible habits are habits that negate the precepts of accepted moral standards; they are very destructive and if conscious effort is not made to curb them, the result is catastrophic.  Some constructive habits progress into high moral principles that eventually become the pillars that uphold our destinies while destructive ones progress into terrible addictions that eventually become the canker worms that destroy our lives.  Bad habits are easier to form than good ones because of the human tendency to do wrong and this has led to the premature termination of the destinies of many.  The fact that some of these habits are not spelled out in the scriptures does not mean that they not ungodly; some of these habits include debauchery (immoral behavior involving sex, alcohol, and drugs), smoking, deviousness (dishonesty and deceitfulness), Internet fraud, pornography, masturbation, gossip etc; the list is endless.  Some of these habits are punishable by law while for others, it’s strictly the business of whoever is involved and the consequences are born personally.

But, let’s come to think of it, why do youths indulge in these demeaning habits?

Peer pressure

The desire to belong and be a part of something has pushed so many people into dangerous situations; the yearning to get approval is so great that many are dying to impress.  They often get so involved that it becomes too difficult to opt out of these unprofitable associations. The saying that, “if you cannot beat them, you join them” has become the watchword of many, but what happens if you can beat them?

Low self esteem

Inferiority complex is like a virus that gradually destroys one’s personality.  Some youths lack the feeling of self worth; hence they turn to habits they feel can boost their ego such as smoking, alcoholism and drugs, only for them to discover the effect is extrinsic and the feeling can only last for a while; it’s like expanding a balloon, no matter how big it is, it will eventually deflate with time.

Unwholesome adventure

The curiosity of youths has increased their tendency to try out new things, but how devastating will it be if their expedition is tending towards negativity? Youthful exuberance if not handled with moderation can lead to unanticipated downfall. Many youths have a misconception that turning to these habits is a way surmounting the challenges of life or forgetting their sorrows; they do not realize that solutions repel those who run away from their problems.

Stopping terrible habits is not spontaneous; it takes a gradual process and a conscious effort is needed to achieve it. Let me share with you some of the ways of gaining freedom from these habits;

Acknowledge

Firstly, you need to identify the habit and admit that it is bad; you have to understand that you need help and unless you are willing to be free, you haven’t started yet. You shouldn’t give the excuse of not knowing a habit is terrible; if it’s so cool, why do it under closed doors, in secluded places, behind bars, without supervision and so on. 

Seek help through counseling

The kind of counsel you seek should depend on the kind of habit you want to curb and the degree of deterioration it has caused to your life; for example, of what use is an academic counselor to a person who is psychologically affected by drugs?  Identify your problem and seek help from appropriate personalities who can guide and advise you from their wealth of experience.

Engage your mind positively

Permit me to define the mind as a factory where thoughts are being processed with actions as finished products; it can be likened to the CPU of a computer with actions as the output; it also works with the principle of garbage in – garbage out.  You are your mind and your mind is you; what you perceive, feel, see and hear is being analyzed by the mind which eventually dictates what you do; be careful what you feed your mind with and guard it with all diligence – read good books that will build and motivate you, listen to tapes that will inspire you positively and watch videos that will not pollute your mind.

Dissociate from malicious companies

Malignant groups have a way of influencing youths negatively and are detrimental to your personal growth and development; disentangle yourself from these morbid associations before they ruin you completely.  Evil communication corrupts good manners; don’t fall a victim of these terrible influences, rather, associate with people of high moral character for it is better to be alone than to be in a bad company.

Pray for strength

Prayer made from a sincere and repentant heart will go a long way to pull you out off that messy situation; God is always willing to accept anyone who turns to Him for help. There is no habit too appalling to discontinue, no matter the degree of damage it has caused.  Many people receive forgiveness but refuse to forgive themselves and they continue to lead a life of guilt; spend quality time with God and allow Him to break you, mold you and build you into what He wants you to be and you can be sure that your freedom is guaranteed.

HOW TO BECOME AN EXPERT IN YOUR CHOSEN FIELD OF CAREER

BECOMING INDISPENSABLE IN YOUR CHOSEN FIELD OF CAREER

The choice of a career no matter how carefully selected is less significant to building it.  A career as fixed and as calmly brilliant as it may seem is that profession you have chosen to do throughout your working life; so it’s more than just a job. Primarily, in choosing a career, you need to find out what you like doing and getting someone to pay you for doing it. Whether goods or services, be you an artist, a doctor, a teacher, a lawyer, an engineer or whatever it is you have chosen to do, you should never stop until you become a professional.  It takes more than passing through the walls of an institution, you need personal development and capacity building; you have to make a conscious effort at being an expert or being indispensable in your field of career.

An expert is a person who has exceptional skill or knowledge in a particular field.  To achieve this status, you need to put the following into consideration;

1.            Identify

You need to recognize the need of your organization or the recipients of your services so as to be able to touch areas no one has ever touched, you need to explore your world of opportunities; what is the essence of being an expert if you are not providing solutions and improving the effectiveness of your organization.  You have to do your research to discover prospects that have not been exploited and see how you can add value to life.

2.            Develop

To be exceptionally skilful or indispensable, you need to do more than your contemporaries.  As an ordinary person, you have to be ready to do extraordinary things.  What makes you preferred to others is a function of one unique, special or extra thing you have to do.  Developing oneself can be very difficult but listen! That’s the sacrifice you have to pay for greatness; act one step ahead of others.

3.            Update

Sustain your passion for your profession by loving what you do and investing your resources in it.  Spend time, energy and money, get trained, learn updated computer softwares pertaining to your field that can make you work effectively, get certifications from regulating bodies in your field both locally and internationally to boost your professionalism, attend seminars, take classes, read relevant materials such as books and magazines and stay updated.

4.            Associate

Before you, are people who have succeeded in your field of career, establish healthy relationships with people who are already experts; exchange ideas, ask questions, keep learning, join groups or associations relevant to your field and before you know it, you are on top.

5.            Sell yourself

This is a very crucial aspect of expertise.  Some people have problems projecting who they are or what they are capable of doing.  Nobody sees you in the dark until you bring yourself to spotlight and brand yourself; you need to package yourself and your ideas and let people know how much you can contribute to the world.  You can achieve this through various means such as giving speeches, contributing the company newsletter, creating blogs or websites, participating in business oriented online forums by joining professional networking sites where business subjects are being discussed. . For example the Linkedin Network connects professionals in various fields, sharing of knowledge is being enhanced and avenues are created for opportunities; the Behance Network also enables you to showcase your work and get people of similar interest to recognize your expertise in your area of work.

DEVELOPING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

When we cry

We wear ourselves out, we feel pain and depression, we think life is unjust and does not make sense, let us know that no matter how long we cry, our tears  would not be enough to drown our problems or make them flow away. Let us wipe our tears to see clearly the solution coming our way, weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning

We are happy and we want the feeling to last longer. Let us enjoy the moment while it lasts because life is not a bed of roses

When we laugh

When we fall

It is not the end of the world, we shouldn’t give up on ourselves or remain in the dust; we should get up and forge ahead because the road to the top is never smooth.

Let us see it as an opportunity to lift others up and not trample upon them because nobody knows tomorrow

When we rise

When we lose

It doesn’t make us losers in life, though defeat is bitter, we don’t have to fight; there will always be another time to prove ourselves

Let us celebrate because victory is sweet but we should remember we won because someone better than us wasn’t  there

When we win

When we fail

It does not make us failures, let us learn from our mistakes and move on. There is no successful person that has never failed in one way or the other

Let us rejoice; we shouldn’t think we have arrived because success is a journey and not a destination, we should keep breaking our own record

When we succeed

When we climb

Let us do it with caution because the higher we go, the more dangerous it is to fall; the more challenges we face

Let us know that we must serve and not abuse the power vested on us and take advantage of others

When we lead

When we give

Let us do it with all humility and cheerfulness because the more we give, the more we receive

Let us believe that we will receive answers, without double-mindedness, let us keep our faith strong

When we pray

When we love

Let it be real and unconditional; let us love with all sincerity

Let us do it with all diligence and without coercion

When we work

When we err

Let us accept it, beg for forgiveness, learn from it and never repeat it

Let us live a purposeful life, hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Let us know that it is for a short time

When we live

When we die

It is all over, the kind of life we live is what speaks for us when we are gone

DEVELOPING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE